Maybe I could update this thing once in a while. I picked today because I really don't want to exercise this morning.
Next month Anna will visit a plastic surgeon. At her last doctors appointment I pointed out that she has a bump on her noggin that was not created by a sibling and isn't going away. After the doctor felt around he let me know it was about the size of an M&M. Yum, lucky girl. He then informed it is a dermoid cyst. A dermoid cyst is kind of cool. I looked it up online through a very reputable source-- Wikipedia. I'm not so worried about the cyst. Seriously, not a big deal at all. I am a little worried about the removal process. I've already asked if we could just leave the cyster alone but it needs to be removed and not just because it makes her face look funny. I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm just going to waste a little bit of time worrying, someone's got to do it. Anna is growing so fast. I feel like I'm missing so much of her life because there's SO many kids to care for. She kind of gets stuck at the end of every list because she's not loud enough. I do love the time I spend with her and I'm ever grateful that I can nurse her because it gives me a few moments every day to just sit and be with her.
Tony is busy with school. He's still doing e-school and he loves it but is looking forward to a brick and mortar experience next year at Lakeview. I'm glad he's decided to attend Lakeview. It's a great school and we've really loved the experience Clayton is having. Tony is also thinking about trying out for the High School football team. Lakeview doesn't have a football team but he can play for his neighborhood school. I love the idea of him working hard. Tony is also significantly taller than me. It's crazy to stand next to him and realize my once small child is growing up and is a young adult. I love having him around during the day. He's fun to chat with and he helps me stay calm and keep my head from exploding.
Clayton is busy with school. Very busy with school. He's learning to plan and schedule his life so he can get everything done. I'm pleased with how he's starting to step up and be responsible. Every day we get letters from colleges and universities addressed to him. He did really well on some test and now we get a ton of junk mail. I had no idea there were so many schools out there. He still has two years of high school left so we're not really paying attention to the junk. Two years of high school and then he's off to college? I can't even think about the reality of that. A couple days ago we celebrated Clayton turning 15! Wow. Most days it feels like it's going too fast.
Nic recently participated in Band-O-Rama. It's a district wide band concert that is amazing and absolutely unbelievably crowded. It was fun to see Nic playing his trumpet and I'm glad we were there. I took some great pictures. I should share them with you but the camera is downstairs and remember I'm not exercising today so too many trips on those stairs and I could break a sweat. Nic is working hard at school and loves drawing. For an assignment he spent some time drawing a picture of Jackie Robinson. The picture looks great. I'm glad I have a house full of kids who love to draw. I've almost mastered the skill of stick figures so they don't get this talent from me. I can actually just sit and watch them draw. It's amazing.
Isaak is FULL of energy. We just can't get him to sit quiet. I guess it wasn't meant to be. I've started helping out in his classroom twice a week. It's fun to be in his class. Isaak loves being outside and he and I can hardly wait for spring. He's spent a lot of time outside this winter, especially recently with the snow. He is a hard worker when it comes to being physical. I can always count on him to help shovel the sidewalk or work in the yard. It's amazing how long he can keep up physical activity. It's fun to have him around when there's work to be done. For Christmas he got a pogo stick. He's mastered the skill. He bounces in the basement all the time. It will be fun when he can take the pogo outside and bounce through the neighborhood. I'm sure the neighbors will love his energy. We're already looking forward to football season. This kid needs it!
Matthias is growing. It still kind of breaks my heart that he's getting older. He's figured out how to use the potty and is pretty much a pro. I still stick him in a pull-up at night because I'm afraid the one night I don't he'll have an accident and I'll have a mess to clean up when I should be asleep. Matthias is attached to me. Throughout the day he tells me he loves me. The conversation goes like this...
Matthias: "I love you!"
Me: "I love you too."
Matthias: "Dad loves Anna."
Me: "Yup!"
He wants to make sure I only love him. I think it's sweet that he makes sure that someone loves Anna.
Matthias knows his colors which has only proven to be a hassle because now he needs a specific color of cup and plate and whatever else that comes in colors and he uses his color powers to torture me. He can count up to ten but always skips the number five. I didn't realize until yesterday that he knows some shapes. He showed me a triangle and told me it was a triangle. I just about fell off the chair. I've never taught him any shapes. I don't know where he learned. Hooray that he knows. I was starting to think I was a terrible mother. I've started talking to him about letters. I only started chatting with him about these because I realized that he'll be four in June and I've only got a little time left before he goes off to school and people start judging me as his parent. I certainly don't want to look like a loser.
Kjel goes to work and comes home at night. I'm so glad he has work and I'm beyond grateful that he comes home at night. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's a huge blessing in my life. He's a major support and he keeps me from falling apart... or at least when I do he picks up the pieces. Poor guy.
I'm hanging on except for when I decide to let go. It's not really that bad, it's just unbelievable to think about my responsibilities. I'm not constantly going and doing but my mind is exhausted from keeping track of and worrying about and wondering what I need to be doing. Is it enough, too much? I just want my kids to know that I love them. They are a joy in my life. Don't worry, my meds are on board. I couldn't live without them right now. Whenever my milk comes in my entire mood drops and the anxiety and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. It only lasts momentarily but it happens throughout the day and at times is very exhausting. Thankfully, I'm learning. I found out that I'm not just loony in my head and that this is a real condition, you know, being loony in my head is a real condition. I'm trying to prioritize and figure out what really needs my attention. What should I really be spending my time on right now, at this minute? I'm asking myself that question in hopes that it will help me focus where I should be.
Speaking of where I should be, I just heard Anna crying so it's time to focus my attention there. I'm glad I got to spend a few minutes dumping some of my life on this page. When my kids grow old I want them to be able to read all about our growing up moments.