This morning found me in bed finishing a book by Jerry Spinelli. I know he writes kids books but I do believe I've mentioned that kids make sense.
We went to the library yesterday and I had a hankering to read Stargirl. This is my ALL time favorite novel. Strangely I do not own it so each time I read it I either borrow it from a person or from the library. I scanned the library database and the book was currently checked out. I needed some good girl reading and the book of choice was missing. Obviously it just wasn't meant to be. So now what? What do I read to bring me such happy thoughts of happiness and reality? I decided upon reading anything that Mr. Spinelli has written. The first book in my hand was titled Smiles to Go. Sounds harmless.
I spent yesterday afternoon reading outside in the sunshine (sorry all you Utah readers, we have gorgeous sunshine). I nearly completed the book but responsibility called and required that dinner be made.
This morning I wasn't ready to leave the warmth of my bed. The sun was streaming through my window but the clock was saying only stupid people get out of bed this early (no offense Kjel). Usually I grab a different book but this morning I just needed to know how Smiles to Go, ends. I ran (waddled in pain like an injured duck) down stairs to grab my book. Upon returning to the comfort of my sheets I began reading. For much of the time I was alone.
Let's pause for a minute and talk about alone.
Alone has been very nice lately. I don't seem to find it much but when I do it just feels nice. This is BIG. In past life's I've never been a believer of sitting in a room alone, it scared me. WE could go on for hours about my fear of being alone but since at this time it is no longer present we'll just comment on how nice it is to be alone.
Back to the reading. Near the end a little visitor showed up. He's not so little, he's nearly as tall as me and he takes up a ton of space but he holds still and he doesn't mind not having every second of attention, so him in bed next to me while I read was completely acceptable. Suddenly he's asking me, why are you crying?? Is the book sad?? How does it end??
I can barely get the words out through the deep sobs. "The book is not sad, it ends wonderfully. I'm crying because I miss people." He kindly wraps his arms around me and says, "it will be okay mom." I think I once lied to him and told him the same words.
Now before I start getting inundated with comments... I know it will be okay. I'm happy here, I'm medically sound, I'm physically large (strong), I'm emotionally fine. I'm just going through some normal missing people you love crap.
To solve the problem I curled up, cried myself back to sleep and didn't get out of bed until I had gained some perspective. As you can see from the time of posting (9:00ish) really I'm just fine. So NO comments about it's going to be okay or I'm sorry you feel sad or whatever thoughts of fixing it rolls off your tongue.
I learned a little while ago (thanks Stacie) that some things can't be fixed and it's okay to feel how I feel.
So back to this great book. The main character Will is going through some growing up. Growing up is really hard. I have so much sympathy for people who are growing up. I loved the insight from Will's mind. His thoughts made sense and grabbed me into deeper thinking. He has two friends that travel through this time with him. The friends (Mi Su and BT) have been with him for a long time. They do fun things with each other and just make incomplete, imperfect personalities perfect. I'm not sure the books focus is really on friendships, however, for me it was an important theme. If you're looking for a fast read that really isn't a tear jerker just a fun happy read, read Stargirl (it's the best book ever written) then pick up Smiles to Go. Jerry Spinelli creates a world and you happily fly through the world with him until he gently lets you off at the end for a safe landing and a new outlook on the world.