I've had a week with little time to really dive into scriptures. I hate that excuse because I did sleep and I even watched a movie so honestly I had plenty of time to read scriptures I just didn't take the time and use it wisely. I do, however, have a few things I gleaned from scripture study this week.
First off I spent a lot of time in D&C 27. My Grandfather Darrel asked us to study that section out and see what we discovered. Something I grabbed from that was...
vs 15: Lift up our hearts and rejoice. Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. We need the whole armor to withstand the evil day. If we have the whole armor we will be able to stand at that last day.
I listed out the Armor:
loins gird with truth
breastplate of righteousness
feet shod with preparation of the gospel of peace
shield of faith
helmet of salvation
sword of His Spirit
I need to spend some time seriously gaining a grasp on what each of these Armor pieces are. I think I know some but others I don't know the direct relation.
I also did some study in the Book Of Mormon. As I was reading in Nephi I did some additional looking at a book that my mom gave us one year for Christmas. The book is called Teaching and Commentaries on the Book of Mormon. It includes an account by Wilford Woodruff about his mission to England. I tried to find a transcript of this so I could copy and paste but I can't find it in its entirety and I am not typing it all out... too long.
What happened though is when it was time for Wilford Woodruff to serve a mission in England he found himself very ill. All members of the Quorum of the Twelve found themselves extremely ill. His account of the experience is very eye opening for me. Part of this account includes this...
When Brother Brigham left home he told me all his family had was one barrel of rotten flour. Two hundred cents would have bought every pound of provision I left with my family when I left home. But we left our wives, for we had the commandment of God upon us; and we were either going to obey it, or die trying. That was the spirit of the elders of Israel; and I blessed my wife and child and left them in the hands of God, and to the tender mercies of our noble bishops... We traveled without purse and scrip, and we preached without money and without price. Why? Because the God of heaven had called upon us to go forth and warn the world.
Initially I just felt guilty because I've spent some time this week complaining about responsibilities. Interestingly enough though these are responsibilities that I asked God to give me. I want to have five children. I want to be a wife. I want to serve those around me. I want all these things and today as I type this all I can think is I need to stop wallowing in guilt. Guilt is my excuse. I just need to do the best I can and stop wasting my energy feeling guilty. Some how this seems so profound but Kjel's been telling me this for years and it never made sense until this moment... oops it just flew away... wait I think I've caught it again.
Okay so I just deleted an entire paragraph because I can't put it into words what I'm thinking. I guess the best I can give you is that I struggle with my inadequacies. I read about others abilities to accomplish all that they are set forth to do and I wish I could do that. But here for just a moment I thought that maybe I am. Maybe I can't see the whole picture and maybe, just maybe, even though I think I'm missing the point I'm actually getting it right on.
I'm not sure that correlates to the above passage. Oh well.
The last thing I want to share is another tidbit of info I got from this week.
I mention this because so many women are walking around disgusted with their bodies. Whether we have had children or will have children (now or much later, or not here on earth) our bodies are created to carry and deliver babies. Our bodies are beautiful! Our bodies will give life. (there is much deeper significance to the quote below than how my body looks but for now i am going with a part that shoved itself into my mind and kept coming up.)
Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, he [the Savior] said, "I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." (1 Nephi 21:1516.) For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice--the sacrifice of begetting life--for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth. [Bruce C. Hafen and Marie K. Hafen, "'Eve Heard All These Things and Was Glad': Grace and Learning by Experience," in Dawn Hall Anderson and Susette Fletcher Green, eds., Women in the Covenant of Grace: Talks Selected from the 1993 Women's Conference (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1994), p. 29]
I will continue to strive to have a strong body and I will love me.
And that is what scripture reading did for me this week.