Thanks so much for everyone's concern and love for me. I think I may have freaked out and concerned too many people. When I typed a few posts back I shouldn't have posted it because it was in the heat of a moment. I should have sat back and really thought.
I came on today to delete the post because I fear too many people may be stressing out unnecessarily. I'm not deleting it though because this is my honest blog, not the blog that makes everyone think I'm perfect and all knowing. I haven't had the energy to start that blog yet.
Today has been a good day. Really, truly a good day. I've completed Kjel's Valentines gift. I've held my sick baby and I've put into perspective my sweet Isaak and his struggles right now.
Last night I sat at an RS meeting where a NAMI representative chatted with us about a few mental illnesses. It was an informative evening and I wish so many people I love could have been present.
A good indicator that you need help is a simple two week test you can do. I will be keeping track of my emotions and feelings for the next two weeks. If I spend a significant amount of that time period struggling than I know I need my meds. At which point I will return to popping them. I've never been against meds. The day the doc put me on them I cried for joy to have hope that there was something that could help me lead a normal life. I'm so deeply thankful for the blessing of medication that helps innumerable people with a vast array of illnesses; mental and physical.
So why did I stop taking them? I guess it was just a personal check. I had been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. HAD is the operative word. It was in my past. My understanding of these diagnoses is that my mind can heal and they are not something that will forever be with me. I wondered if I was done. If I'm done there is no reason to take meds. Why put something into my body that is not necessary? (this statement does not hold true to sugar in its many blissful forms) I am a bit of a minimalist when it comes to medicating. I don't even like to take Tylenol. Silly, I know!
Again, thanks so much to each of you who has been truly concerned. I'm ridiculously blessed with people that love me. People that love ME for ME!