When I was a child I knew without a doubt that I would grow up and do something amazing. I wasn't certain what that would entail but I knew I had something special to offer the world. Something that no one else could provide.
As a teen I would recite over and over in my head Luke 1:27. I would dream up what incredible offering I had and then give myself the pep talk, "For with God nothing shall be impossible." I clung to this "specialness" that was innately mine. Of course, I did not yet know what it would be. At the off chance you think I was the only one feeding this ridiculousness, you should know that I was regularly bombarded with this message at church and school.
You know the whole, "your unique, you've got something to offer the world no one else can, you're going to do great things," mantra. I took it personal. I firmly believed that these people had some portal to my future and knew I would change the world.
About a decade ago there was still a small flame inside of me that was waiting for that magical moment of heroism. I had come to the realization that I wasn't going to change the whole world but I still believed that in my tiny corner of earth I might be able to make a difference.
But what if, I never rock the world, I never significantly change the passage of time?
I've been having a pity party for myself the last few weeks. Some of the party is because I'm honestly tired. Some of it is because right now I have a negative self-image. A good chunk of it is because there's stuff I just don't know how to fix. And honestly, I'm not even sure what fix means. This morning though I started thinking about how I was going to be something great. I was going to change the world and the world would know me. I imagined God, with tired eyes shaking his head in disappointment.
Interesting, that I typed, "the world would know me." As if that's the deciding factor on doing something great, or changing the world.
See, I've looked at this all wrong. It's not about who knows me or even about doing something the world see's as being great. What if, I never stand out, does that mean I've failed? My heart says, no. My heart says, that if I spend my days doing laundry, picking up messes, transporting bodies, and other menial tasks that there is no fail in that.
I'm trying to change my thinking. I'm trying to find success in my days. What if, I am changing the world, one diaper at a time?