i did it and i had promised myself i wouldn't.... don't you just want to kick yourself in the pants when you land right in the very place i am, lying to yourself again?
I will refrain from using expletives only because I realize they are futile and will not relieve me from the frustrations that creep inside.
silly me should not even be attempting this step because failure is always an option and with my ability to blabber bologna i can talk myself into and out of any attempt several times before most people have even assessed the situation.
What is it she is talking about? What could she be so fitful about?
food
I said it and if you missed it, too bad!!!
it's something i love and hate and worship and abhor.
I want to rid myself of the emotional attachments that so supremely rule the thoughts of my life.
yesterday such a beautiful day, the day prior so wonderful, so. much. control.
Today starts with strength and ends empty....
do i have40 lbs. to lose? that's a matter of opinion. does the weight matter? Another matter of opinion.
What I want is to have it stop controlling me. I want to control it. How silly, just a little self control and this matter is resolved.
how can a 31 yr. old be so weak??
I now pronounce this day January 1st and again will attempt to bring my strength forward. I will think about this moment and the next and where I want to end.
the end is when the culprit that leaves it's shadow of darkness is not allowed to rule my thoughts and actions.
What a silly rant.