Kjel was given an opportunity to move up in his company. Moving up meant a pay cut. Funny that he took a cut in pay and an increase in responsibility.
We felt sure that it was important for him to make this move but we were unsure of how the money stuff would work out.
We had VERY different opinions as to what we should do to make up the difference in pay. At times he and I disagree. I know you're completely shocked. Well we do and this was one of those times. We did agree that he should take the position but we disagreed on how to make ends meet. I was of the persuasion that we should use faith. We should pray with all our might and the Lord would swoop in and fix it. He believed that we should work with all or might and that as the Lord saw us striving he would bless our family. I do think that both are right answers.
The discussion ended with me getting a job. Me who had not worked in years. I had no resume, no experience and only a high school diploma with a year of college under my belt. I searched and applied in a few different spots. I was blessed with a postal position. It was my job to enter certain information from the address so that the mail would be directed correctly. I was TERRIBLE at this. I really was. Some have heard me say this and they quickly swoop in to make me feel better. "Oh, you're being too hard on yourself." "I'm sure you did a great job." Seriously, people I was terrible at this job. I may have done a better job if I wasn't work the 7PM to 1AM shift. If your mail seemed a little sluggish, I personally apologize. I quit before they fired me because I was blessed with another opportunity that allowed me to work my own hours from home. Funny thing was that after I quit I continued to get postcards begging me to come back. How messed up is that? Now, you're thinking, 'you must have done a good job if they were asking you to come back.' Wrong, this is a government agency people.
So I'm making this post because of what I learned while I was working. Aside from the fact that I didn't learn to do the job right I did learn other more life long lessons.
- Being a mom is a full time job and adding even a part time job to the mix changes the family dynamics. The responsibility on my shoulders more than tripled and I was left dropping all the balls because I couldn't balance any.
- Lots of people work hard to take care of their families. I knew what I was doing would come to an end. I met women and men who were working multiple jobs to take care of ailing spouses or children. They would be doing this indefinitely It wasn't about having the latest tech gadget. It was about providing basic needs. They came to work and smiled through their exhaustion. I gained an perspective on the ability of human beings to do what is asked of them.
- Heavenly Father loves me and will give me strength when I ask him. Getting off work at 1AM, arriving home around 2 and then finally falling asleep 30 or more minutes after that was not the best situation when considering I needed to be up by 6AM to get the kids out the door. Heavenly Father stepped in and helped me pull of those mornings I was certain I could not.
- Some things have to give. At the time I was hired with USPS I was training for a half marathon. I was not going to give up the race. I refuse to be a quitter and pushed until I drained my body completely. I had to look at my priorities and realize that running could not be a priority. Dropping out was hard and I was sure I had failed. I didn't though, I won! I won because I knew when it was too much and I listened.
- Working is NOT easy. I gained an appreciation for the long hours Kjel puts in. I came to better understand why some days he can't just walk away from work and leave it behind. Work is called work because it is just that... work.
I recently quit. I found that I could no longer balance everything. Kjel had just been given a raise that was equivalent to what I made each month and I knew I had to cut the ties or I would continue to work. I'm not saying being a working mom is a bad thing. I really can't comment on whether it's right or wrong for anyone but myself. Continuing to work would have been the wrong choice for our family.
There are times that I miss the money. I think to myself... If I was working we'd have an extra $$$. We could do this with it or save it for this or... There are times I miss the friendships. I loved my boss and chatting with my good friend Lynne regularly through work, I miss.
I don't miss the deadlines or fighting Matthias to leave the keyboard alone so mommy can work. I don't miss the long faces on my kids when I can't play with them because I have work to complete. I don't miss the constant worry of how much is waiting for me and will I have time to take care of every one.
I will forever be thankful for the lessons I learned while I worked. Will I work again some day?? Possibly, maybe. IDK... We'll see.