I might leave the dark side. I've been veggie for several years now. Since becoming a member of the "dark side" (this is what my family lovingly calls my refusal to eat meat) I have never wanted to switch back to eating meat. I've been thinking about introducing animals back into my diet. I haven't decided yet. I'm not really sure how to make this decision. I don't know if I want to eat living creatures. Of course I cook em dead first but you know what I mean. Anyhow, I'm just thinking.
Another hmm, is that I've learned a great lesson about not making assumptions. I'm queen of assuming. I recognize that I make this mistake and I try not to. I even tell myself that to stop and go into situations with an open mind. I carefully watch people who approach life with this skill. I love to see how they speak and understand. I want to be like this. Sometimes I fake it really well but I'm not that. I naturally assume ALL THE TIME. I want to become a more unassuming person. Something to work on. NOT beat myself up about but work on.
Today I'm thinking about the amazing school teacher that Isaak has this year. I don't think I deserve to be this blessed but I'll take it. I've had a VERY negative attitude about the kids' schools since we left our charter school in Utah. I'm certain I've never even given the schools here a fighting chance. I've recognized many wonderful things in the schools here, but inside of me I've often cried about leaving NPA. Yesterday, I met with Isaak's teacher. It's not what you're thinking. If you're thinking it's a behavior problem then you assumed wrong, just like me. She wanted to set up some times to tutor him in reading. I cried in her room and thanked her for her kindness. You see, it isn't her job to tutor my son after school. She doesn't have to give this to us. She cares about the kids she teaches and she wants Isaak to succeed. I can hardly believe that someone else, besides Kjel and I, wants to see him succeed. I am overly blessed by her kindness. We're only a few weeks into school and she is already recognizing his strengths and weaknesses. She isn't waiting until the end of the quarter to help. She isn't going to wait and sign him up for summer school when she's given her required time. She's starting this Friday spending some time after school twice a week helping him.
I can't believe she wants to help him. I have this piece of my personality and that believes its me against the whole world. I tend to come into moments with my hands clenched, fists up ready to pump a person. I didn't realize that others want us to succeed. Wow. Now, that's a thinker to think about.
Maybe life isn't a competition with only one winner?