See that arrow? It's pointing to the little one that's growing inside of me. We've finally shared the news with the kids, so it's time to branch out and share with a few others. I'm having a baby. A few posts back I spewed emotions all over and didn't let on what about. Well, those emotions were pertaining to finding out I'm pregnant. We weren't planning this, but honestly, we didn't plan any of the kids. When I first found out I was being blessed with another child I was actually very upset. I know this is terribly selfish of me and for those of you that want so badly to have a child, you can hate me. I wouldn't blame you. I've already been processing through the emotions of hating myself for not jumping for joy and for being such a selfish person. Perfect, we can have a party together.
I've actually run through many emotions. It's a process. I know some of these emotions are pregnancy induced. I'm trying to keep myself from digging too deep inside my feelings because we all know that's going to get me nowhere and in the end it doesn't really matter.
I've seen my sweet child twice, in pics at the doc office. I'm falling in love. I'm scared but I'm working really hard to hold my head high and convince myself that Heavenly Father has a plan and with this dear child he will bless our family with everything we need... mostly sanity for the mom and dad.
My due date is Octoberish. They say the 3rd. I'm guessing closer to the 10th but think it would be cool to hold out until the 11th --10.11.12
So, that's the news. All is well.
For some super fun stuff, let me tell you about my kiddo's reactions.
Saturday night, after we bathed Matthias, we sent him downstairs with this shirt on. Funny, when we stuck the shirt on him he screamed. He was not happy to get dressed -he never really is- but I thought it funny that he threw an especially large tantrum because when little one arrives I'm certain he's going to freak out!
Clayton was the first to notice. He didn't say anything. I could tell he was doing some processing though. I just let it be.
Anthony took note and laughed and said, "Bigger than what?" This drew some attention and Nic then said, "We should put a piece of tape over it and then write on the tape, little." Kjel and I just sat there not knowing what to say. Finally, one of us spoke up and said, "well, it's true, what's on his shirt is true." This took the kids some time and I'm not really sure if they finally clued in or if one of us finally shared the news of a baby sibling.(I should just type brother because we all know that's what it is!)
Isaak then asked how we could know that we're having a baby. I explained to him about the pregnancy test and how it works. He then questioned, "is it a test to see if you can get pregnant" Of course, the answer is I am pregnant. At this point I think there was just a lot of shock in the room. Clayton finally spoke. "I thought you were done?" Kjel took this one on. "Yeah, we did too."
In the end, the kids are excited. Most of them are certain we're having another brother. Nic, however, is itching for a little sister and is hopeful in that direction. We'll see. I'll have an ultrasound some time in May.