The truth, because I promised I would only speak truth on this blog.
On Friday, I start back into therapy. Yup, Its been a tough going since this last pregnancy. I've spent some time journaling the experiences and will share at a later date. Right now, it's just too personal.
There's a lot going on in my mind. One thing is that I want readers to know the truth. Some days aren't sunshine. It's dark rain clouds that attack my soul but I'm hopeful that eventually there will be rainbows.
Last night, I skipped dinner at the table. Three of my kiddo's came up and asked me if I was okay. It lifted my spirit to see them and feel of their love. I know with these awesome kids, my incredibly supportive and loving husband, and some help from a professional I can be back on track.
Until then, I'll keep posting the smiles and journaling in the dark, to share at a later date, the inner struggle of depression and anxiety.
Don't stress. You're welcome to pray but I believe the prayers you say will be for you. The prayers I say will help me. I've kind of got this different theory going about prayer and who it helps. It's deep, not really, it's totally surface and makes sense and is making a difference in my life.
If you chat with me and I don't mention the struggle, it's not because you aren't wonderful, it's because I just don't always want to talk about it and generally I have no idea what to say. It's not really a chat it out with everyone you see kind of fix. Thanks for being supportive and understanding and allowing me some space to personally heal.